The Bitch Goddess

Too bad you can’t post pics from the iPhone. Ah well. Can’t have everything in one app.

Loving Glue!

So, this is how it’s been between the Swede and I - we’re transitioning. Months ago, he concluded that I was not a good fit, I being a Leo and him, a Pisces. It is a doomed relationship, go figure. But he gave it a try, he said. Now why does that statement obliges me to feel grateful?

So after his last visit almost a year ago, I tried to move on. Really. But there are just some things you keep going back to - especially if your hazy judgment insists it’s worth it. I have not met a man who is this gentle, this kind such as he.

And then we got back into the groove and started talking about working it out on his next visit. But something was already amiss and my suspicion was right. I raised hell, naturally. But what can one do, really, if one has set his mind? My only gripe was that we were SUPPOSED to work it out. And now, this girl is in the picture. Where does that leave me then?

I’m tempted to write the details, but its too complicated I don’t even know where to begin. The point is, I hit rock bottom. I became crazy, did things totally out of character. But I had to accept that things are the way they are. One thing I love about the Swede is the fact that once he makes up his mind about something, he sticks with that decision. Unfortunately, this is working against my favor right now.

And you know what’s twisted?

We still act like a couple, but we don’t kiss. He said it’s too much for him. Now I know how a whore feels like. It’s agonizing.

And last night, I had to pretend to be asleep for 2 hours as he was talking to his new girl. I just had to listen, you know? And it killed me every fucking single minute.

What the fuck am I doing indeed.