The Emosogynist: He’s just so tortured, y’all. He can’t even bring himself to cry, which is weird, because he’s so deep that you’d think the emotional well could never run dry. Something hurt him, man, and now he’s just dead inside. He’d explain it to you, but you probably wouldn’t understand, unless you’re super cute, kind of quirky, and you remind him of the girl he fell in love with 5 years ago, before his heart turned to dust and blew away. Of course, if you were around then, you might have saved him from this cold, heartless life he leads, but alas, no, some woman destroyed him forevermore, and he just can’t be put back together again, unless, of course, he’s put back together to an indie soundtrack by (an often much younger) woman he can easily manipulate and later dismiss after his confidence rises. He has to find himself, you know? And the only way he can do that is through some girlfriend who isn’t aware of the fact that he’s a bitter 16-year-old trapped in a 28-year-old man’s body.
Make that in a 31-yr-old man’s body.
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